Explicit Ep 19 🌈 Getting unstuck at the gym, amazing drag & a gay PM
Ep. 19

Ep 19 🌈 Getting unstuck at the gym, amazing drag & a gay PM

Episode description

Welcome to Episode 19 of The Outlifting Lounge, a weekly show for gay, bi, and trans guys. Hosted by Alan and Derec, we chat all things LGBTQIA+, pop culture, news, and fitness.

This week we cover some amazing queer pop culture by reviewing the massive, sold-out Drag Gala in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, as well as celebrating major LGBTQ+ news from the Netherlands.

And if you’re feeling stuck at the gym, stay tuned for the fitness section to discover how gay, bi, and trans men can break plateaus. We share three simple steps to help you feel like you’re out of the beginner phase!

Chapters:

00:00:00 - Welcome to Episode 19

00:02:06 - Pop Culture: The Las Palmas Drag Gala

00:11:51 - LGBTQ+ News: The First Gay PM in the Netherlands

00:14:10 - Fitness: Escaping the Beginner Phase at the Gym

00:30:41 - Join Outlifting


🌈 What is Outlifting?

We’re Alan & Derec - husbands who are passionate about health and fitness. We set up Outlifting together as a community exclusively for gay, bi & trans men who want to hit their fitness goals. With personal workout plans accountability coaching, nutrition planning, new healthy recipes weekly, wellness and mindset coaching, and more, Outlifting is not just another online personal training platform. We’re here to set you up for success so that this time, you can’t fail.

➡️ Work with Us: Ready to transform your body and build unstoppable confidence? Book a free, no obligation video consultation: calendly.com/outlift/discoverycall

➡️ Follow us on socials: Instagram - instagram.com/outlift.ing/ TikTok - tiktok.com/@outlift.ing

➡️ Visit our website: outlift.ing

Download transcript (.srt)
0:00

Welcome to episode 19 of The Outlifting Lounge.

0:03

This is the show all about

0:05

pride, fitness, and everything in between.

0:07

I'm Alan.

0:08

And I'm Derec.

0:09

In today's show, we will be discussing a

0:12

huge cultural event here in Gran Canaria.

0:16

We will talk about some really

0:18

amazing LGBT news from the Netherlands.

0:20

And then in the fitness section of the

0:22

show, we will be discussing how you can

0:25

take yourself from feeling stuck, maybe a bit

0:28

like a beginner in the gym.

0:30

You know that you need to move on.

0:31

You don't know how?

0:32

We will tell you how.

0:34

So keep watching and listening.

0:40

So it's been a busy week, eh, Alan?

0:42

It's been really busy, yeah.

0:43

We had a birthday party on Tuesday.

0:46

We met some friends on Thursday

0:47

that are also fitness instructors.

0:49

They are from Scandinavia.

0:51

We've got friends that arrived on Friday.

0:53

They're doing a cruise.

0:55

So we met them for the day up in Las Palmas.

0:57

An actual cruise, I just

0:58

need to point out, because...

1:00

On a ship and everything.

1:03

I know, because we live in Gran

1:03

Canaria, obviously, and there's a lot of

1:05

different kind of cruising goes on here.

1:07

But yes, they were all above board. Yes.

1:09

On board.

1:13

We had our friend Paddy arrive on Saturday, and

1:16

my dad is going to arrive tomorrow on Monday.

1:19

Shhhhh!

1:20

Oh, don't tell Haggis.

1:21

Don't tell Haggis.

1:23

Haggis, our dog, that's his favourite person in

1:25

the world, and he does not know.

1:27

And he will not know until we bring

1:28

him to the airport, and then he'll start

1:30

getting excited because he knows that somebody he

1:33

likes will be coming through the arrival doors.

1:35

And when he sees it, it's his granddad.

1:37

He will go cock-a-hoop.

1:38

Yes, it's always very cute.

1:40

And it just makes the airport stop because

1:44

Haggis is very loud when he barks, and

1:47

he actually doesn't bark, he screams, doesn’t he?

1:49

Yelps.

1:49

I think yelp is the right word.

1:51

But yeah, that's something to look forward to.

1:53

Always something to look forward to.

1:54

We'll stick a wee video of that up

1:56

on social media at some point, I'm sure.

1:57

Yes, definitely.

1:59

That's enough about us.

2:00

Now, shall we start the show?

2:02

Let's do it. Okay.

2:05

Regular subscribers will know

2:07

that we normally do a little bit of

2:09

queer pop culture, followed by some

2:10

news, and then a little bit of fitness.

2:12

So our queer pop culture this

2:14

week is very local for us.

2:16

We want to talk about something really,

2:18

really amazing, which is the Drag Gala

2:22

in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria.

2:24

It's amazing, and unfortunately, we've not had a

2:26

chance to go and see it live, because

2:28

the tickets sell out in like 10 minutes.

2:31

It's amazing.

2:32

It is a local phenomenon.

2:33

It is part of the local carnival in

2:35

Las Palmas, and I mean, carnival culture in Spain is

2:38

massive, usually around February, March time, and they are

2:42

staggered in lots of locations around Spain.

2:46

But Las Palmas has, I think it's now the

2:48

biggest event in the calendar for Las Palmas.

2:51

They've got the Drag Carnival, the Drag Gala,

2:54

and that started off, I think, in 1998.

2:57

So it's been going for quite a long time now.

2:59

And it's not just specific

3:01

to the LGBTQIA+ community.

3:04

People are actually queuing up for

3:06

days to buy tickets for this.

3:08

And when we were watching it,

3:09

I mean, the audience is huge.

3:11

It's a big, big production.

3:13

But when it pans to the audience,

3:14

it's like wee grannies up dancing, and

3:16

it's a big family event, isn't it?

3:19

It's so ridiculously mainstream.

3:23

And the other thing I love about

3:24

it as well is that it's broadcast

3:26

on Spain's equivalent of the BBC, basically.

3:29

And the production quality is just amazing.

3:34

It's phenomenal.

3:35

It's so, so good.

3:36

And the other thing about Carnival in general

3:38

as well is that practically everything is free.

3:42

People can just come.

3:43

There are certain events that are ticketed.

3:46

There are only three events that are paid.

3:48

And the Drag Gala is, it's like 15 euros.

3:51

It's nothing.

3:53

Yeah, nothing at all.

3:54

It's, it's amazing.

3:56

The, and one of our favourite drag

3:58

queens performed at it as well, Armani,

4:01

and she is an amazing Whitney Houston,

4:04

Tina Turner, Diana Ross impersonator.

4:07

And she did Tina that night and she must

4:10

have had about, what, 20 dancers on stage?

4:13

It was phenomenal.

4:13

I should say that if anybody is listening

4:16

to the audio version of this show on

4:17

a podcast platform, you might be missing out.

4:20

On the YouTube version, we will put some

4:23

videos up as well to show what we're

4:25

talking about because it needs to be seen.

4:28

Phenomenal.

4:29

But yeah, that was part of the opening show.

4:30

We had Armani doing the

4:33

most incredible Tina Turner impersonation.

4:37

That is just so, so good.

4:38

Her makeup, her mannerisms, everything is

4:41

just down to a T.

4:43

And then, in that, we also had, like,

4:44

somebody was doing J-Lo, somebody did Lady Gaga,

4:48

which was amazing because two guys came out

4:51

on the motorbikes and drove around the stage.

4:54

And then she came out, the Lady

4:55

Gaga impersonator came out on the biggest

4:58

neon electric guitar motorcycle you've ever seen.

5:02

And the staging is just out of this world.

5:05

It's absolutely massive.

5:06

They had, like, a Vegas theme going on.

5:09

The dancers' costumes were amazing.

5:11

The performers' costumes were amazing.

5:13

I'm actually raging we don't get to, well, we probably

5:16

can get to go and see it, but we just

5:18

need to queue for, like, four days to get tickets.

5:21

I know that those queues were unreal, like, and

5:23

it literally does just sell out in 10 minutes.

5:26

The stage was so big that when

5:29

the opening show finished, it was a

5:31

Cher impersonator, and I lost count.

5:34

I think at the end of the performance, there

5:36

were probably, with Cher and the backing dancers, there

5:39

was probably about 60 people on stage.

5:42

It was just such a production. Huge.

5:45

Yeah. And then, of course, so that was the final.

5:49

There were 12 finalists, all

5:51

doing a different show.

5:54

They had four minutes each to do a show.

5:57

And I think we should really point

5:59

out, if anybody hasn't seen what traditional

6:02

Canarian drag is, they are missing out.

6:06

It's something completely different to

6:08

what you think drag is.

6:10

Really high energy.

6:12

The costumes are just out of this world.

6:15

Massive, massive, massive boots that they wear.

6:18

I mean, they must be, what,

6:19

like 20 inches high, at least.

6:21

They're absolutely huge.

6:22

If anybody wants to see some Canarian drag, I think

6:26

a good place to go to is Drag Race España.

6:30

Season one, I think, Sethlas was on.

6:33

So Drag Sethlas won the

6:37

Las Palmas Drag Gala in 2017.

6:41

There was a lot of controversy about that

6:42

as well, but I'll not go into it.

6:44

But he won, he competed in Drag Race España

6:46

as well, and he brought the Canarian drag with

6:49

him, and it was a really good example.

6:51

And as well as that, another little crossover, RuPaul

6:56

was a guest performer in 2008.

7:00

Just before Drag Race season one started in the US.

7:04

A year before, well, remembered.

7:06

I read my notes.

7:09

So yeah, she performed, and I want

7:13

to say that she sang live.

7:15

Really?

7:16

I think so, yeah.

7:17

Are you sure about that?

7:18

I watched a video of it.

7:20

RuPaul, who puts minimum effort into

7:22

everything she does when she performs.

7:24

Yeah, go figure.

7:26

It was, yeah, it was quite something.

7:27

It was good to see vintage RuPaul.

7:28

I say vintage, it was 2008.

7:30

It's not bad vintage, but that's quite vintage.

7:33

Yeah.

7:34

Almost 20 years ago.

7:40

Want to feel old?

7:43

Yeah, so it's pretty good.

7:44

There's lots of history to it.

7:46

It was a fantastic show.

7:47

But the drags, so my favourite one was

7:51

Drag Ego, or Ego, and they came out,

7:54

them and their backing dancers were all, it

7:56

was very Bratz, almost, that kind of aesthetic.

8:00

As in Bratz dolls?

8:01

Yes.

8:01

And then at the end, they finished the

8:04

show, and on the screens behind them, they

8:07

had lots of headlines about ADHD.

8:10

Things like medication shortages for ADHD,

8:14

and how pupils are being failed

8:17

in schools, and things like that.

8:20

So it was really, really good that they used

8:22

that platform to spread that message and awareness.

8:25

I love that.

8:25

Yeah, it is.

8:26

Obviously, the performances are amazing, but the message

8:30

behind them is super important as well.

8:32

Yeah. What was your favourite one

8:34

with the political message?

8:35

I think mine was Drag Shíky.

8:37

They were the first runner-up, and their

8:39

message was about the housing crisis in

8:42

the Canary Islands, especially Airbnbs, how they've

8:45

taken over a lot of the housing.

8:47

And I think that really hit home

8:49

for a lot of people in the

8:50

audience, because lots of people were cheering.

8:53

But especially when they came out with

8:55

the Canarian flag costume, that was brilliant.

8:58

That was so good.

8:59

At the end of it, it

9:00

was all just about Canarian pride. Brilliant.

9:03

Yeah, I got goosebumps when that came out. Yeah.

9:04

I consider myself Canarian now.

9:08

One thing that was funny about it, they

9:10

put up a listing for an apartment, which

9:13

was four square metres for €3,000 a month.

9:15

And you could hear the audience laughing over the

9:18

music, because it's not far from the truth.

9:23

So I don't want to labour on this

9:24

too long, because we will bore people, but

9:27

I want to touch on Drag Avalon.

9:30

So they did a whole Dia de los

9:31

Muertos theme, and there's a Mexican folklore tale

9:35

of La Llorona, the crying woman.

9:38

But then the halftime reveal was phenomenal.

9:41

She came out strapped to this apparatus,

9:43

and they spun her around really fast.

9:45

A bit like when a magician...

9:47

A human Catherine wheel?

9:48

A human Catherine wheel.

9:49

I was actually going to say a bit

9:52

like when a magician comes out and throws

9:55

knives at somebody who's strapped to the board,

9:57

and they're spinning around, a bit like that.

9:59

She was going far too fast for that.

10:01

Yeah, she definitely would have ended up

10:03

with a knife on her leg.

10:04

Another favourite was Drag Sequins.

10:06

She was amazing.

10:07

She came out, and it was a plastic surgery thing.

10:10

I think her wig could have been a wee bit bigger.

10:12

Yeah.

10:13

It was probably the same height

10:15

as me, and I'm 5'5".

10:16

We should probably explain for the people on the audio

10:19

version of this that it was a pretty big wig.

10:21

It was humongous. Yeah.

10:23

Then she came out at one point

10:25

riding a syringe like a bucking bronco.

10:27

Brilliant.

10:28

I don't know where they get their ideas from.

10:30

It's so creative.

10:31

As well as that drag, Yshia Taisma?

10:34

Don't know how to pronounce it,

10:36

but I probably butchered it.

10:37

She was really good.

10:39

She did a plastic surgery theme as well, but

10:42

she came out dressed as the board game Operation.

10:45

Massive big Operation board game, walking about the

10:48

stage, and one of her backing dancers was

10:50

a surgeon who was playing the game.

10:52

They had the buzzer sound effects and stuff,

10:54

and then the board flipped down, and again,

10:56

she's wearing a big wig as well.

10:58

But then, her little halftime number, in between, when

11:01

she did a costume change, she came out and

11:03

did incredible breakdancing, like actual breakdancing on the stage,

11:07

which I thought was very good.

11:09

And then she had dancers dressed up

11:11

as syringes and bottles of Botox.

11:13

Very cartoonish, with little eyes and stuff.

11:15

Not camp at all.

11:16

It was right up our alley.

11:18

And then, our winner, spoiler alert, was...

11:22

Drag Tacones.

11:23

They did a flamenco theme as well, so it

11:25

was very, very Spanish, very flamenco, very Andalusian.

11:28

The performance was great.

11:30

All the staging, the dancers, everything was

11:32

excellent, so it was a well-deserved win.

11:34

And they've got a good name.

11:35

Tacones in English means

11:36

stilettos, basically, high heels.

11:39

Yes. So, that is the Drag Gala

11:41

de Las Palmas de Gran Canaria.

11:43

I want to go next year.

11:44

Right, we've talked enough about drag.

11:46

Shall we move on to the next section?

11:48

Yeah, let's cover the news.

11:51

The news this week that we wanted to

11:53

cover, we wanted to keep it quite positive,

11:54

because there's a lot of news stories out

11:56

there that are not so positive.

11:58

But this week, in LGBT world, there was

12:00

something that really jumped out, and that was...

12:03

The Prime Minister of the Netherlands has

12:06

just been inaugurated, and he is the

12:08

first openly gay Prime Minister.

12:11

And he's also their youngest ever Prime Minister.

12:13

Double bonus.

12:14

And he's easy on the eye.

12:16

Triple bonus.

12:16

Yeah, really, really positive, really forward, and

12:21

as well as that, he's really pro-EU.

12:24

He wants to put the Netherlands back at the

12:26

heart of the EU, which is brilliant because they

12:28

have got very divisive forces in Netherlands.

12:31

They have got their own Nigel

12:33

Farage-esque character over there as well,

12:36

who's trying to drag them out.

12:38

So that's super positive as well.

12:40

Don't think he's got an easy journey ahead of

12:42

him, though, because he's in a small coalition.

12:44

So I think there'll be a lot of pushback.

12:46

But, I mean, to have an openly gay

12:48

Prime Minister of a European country is phenomenal.

12:52

Brilliant.

12:52

Really, really good.

12:54

And, as well, his partner is really good as well.

12:58

He's an Olympian.

12:59

And he will become the first gentleman.

13:00

Once they get married, he will

13:02

be the first first gentleman.

13:03

First first gentleman. Yeah.

13:04

It is a proper glass ceiling moment for the

13:07

Netherlands as well, and globally as well, because I

13:11

don't think we've seen many areas where there are

13:14

openly, outwardly gay people in high office.

13:19

Finally, some positive LGBTQIA+ news.

13:24

So I suppose all we need now is for the

13:27

UK to really get behind Zach Polanski, and then the

13:31

UK would have a gay Prime Minister as well?

13:33

Yes, and obviously the result of the

13:35

by-election in Manchester with the Greens winning.

13:39

Total two fingers up to Reform.

13:41

Total kick in the balls to Labour.

13:44

Fucking brilliant.

13:47

Fucking brilliant indeed.

13:48

I think particularly for me, because Labour have

13:51

been awful on LGBTQIA issues, like really awful.

13:55

They have thrown trans people,

13:56

in particular, under the bus.

13:58

So, to use our favourite Scottish

14:00

phrase, get it right up ye.

14:02

Get it right up ye.

14:04

We've covered some really positive news there, so why

14:06

don't we move on to the fitness section.

14:10

Welcome to the fitness section of the show.

14:12

Now, listen up.

14:13

If you are the kind of guy who, maybe you've

14:16

been going to the gym for a little while.

14:18

You've had some successes on your fitness journey, but perhaps

14:22

you feel that you have maybe plateaued, or you just

14:25

don't know how to take yourself out of the beginner

14:29

phase and into the next stage of your fitness journey,

14:32

then what we're going to talk about today is exactly

14:34

that, and it is for you.

14:36

So, Alan, do you want to kick us off?

14:39

We hear it all the time, don't we?

14:41

Guys come to us and they're talking about,

14:43

they've kind of hit that wall, they've hit

14:45

the plateau, and it's because they're doing the

14:47

same thing every time they go in.

14:49

Three sets of 10, using the same

14:52

machines, maybe don't have the confidence to

14:54

move from their safety net.

14:56

of those same machines to

14:58

somewhere new in the gym.

15:00

And we get it, you know, going from working out

15:03

to a gym goer with intent can be quite difficult.

15:07

So you just prepare to stay in

15:09

your comfort bubble, which we totally get.

15:11

So hopefully by the end of this section, people

15:13

are going to have a bit more of an

15:15

idea of how to break through that wall.

15:18

Yeah, we're going to simplify it with three really

15:21

clear and easy steps that people can go through.

15:24

I think what prompted us this week is, a new client

15:27

that we took on who is exactly in this position.

15:30

They have been on their fitness journey.

15:31

They have had really good success

15:34

in their fitness journey so far.

15:35

They've accomplished really good things.

15:37

But that leap now into the next section for them

15:42

is what they feel that they need our help with.

15:45

And they have been our

15:47

regular listener of the show.

15:49

And that's what prompted them to get in

15:51

touch with us in the first place.

15:52

And we're super excited now to help

15:55

them to build on their successes.

15:56

successes so far.

15:58

But yeah, that's exactly what we'll be doing.

16:01

And some of the stuff that we're

16:02

talking about today hopefully will help other

16:05

people as well who are tuning in.

16:06

Yeah, absolutely.

16:07

He's been on an incredible journey.

16:10

Like you said, he's had loads of success on his

16:12

own, but he just recognises now that he's at the

16:14

stage where they just need that extra push, bit of

16:18

structure, bit more routine and guidance, support.

16:21

So I'm really excited for his

16:23

journey over the next few months.

16:25

We mentioned breaking this down into three simple

16:28

steps, and the first step that we want

16:30

to talk about today is the foundation.

16:32

So that is all about getting to the core of why

16:36

you want to work out, why you go to the gym.

16:39

I think a lot of people get stuck in this

16:42

rut where they do it out of habit or do

16:45

it because they think it's what they should do, but

16:50

you need to either discover what your why is, what

16:54

your reason is, or you need to reconnect with it.

16:57

And sometimes your why changes, and it is always

17:00

good to refocus and think about these things again.

17:03

So we have prepared some examples, and these

17:06

are ones that we have heard before of

17:08

reasons why, when we dig deep with our

17:10

clients, these are the reasons why.

17:13

So we've had somebody come to us before, and

17:16

they loved playing tennis, and they maybe stopped because

17:19

they weren't as fit or they weren't as able

17:21

to keep up with it anymore, and they felt

17:24

that their skill level really wasn't matching their ambition.

17:28

So that's, that gave them the focus then to

17:32

go into the gym with a proper plan.

17:35

Other examples could be maybe a professional.

17:38

You feel that if your job is

17:41

quite active, you maybe can't keep up

17:43

with your younger co-workers anymore.

17:45

Perhaps it is the fact your why could

17:48

be, maybe you want to future-proof yourself.

17:51

You know, as we get on a little bit, as

17:54

we get into our 30s and into our 40s, our

17:57

focus does turn into trying to prevent illness.

18:01

and prevent disease and maintain healthiness so

18:04

that we can really enjoy our lives

18:06

into the next few decades.

18:07

There's no right or wrong answer

18:09

when it comes to your why.

18:10

Everybody's why is going to be different.

18:13

It's going to be different if you're

18:14

in your 30s, different if you're 40s,

18:16

different if you're in your 50s.

18:18

And it's really important that you really drill

18:21

down on what your why is and don't

18:23

think that it should be this.

18:25

It's what's important to you.

18:27

Being connected to your sense of purpose

18:29

and your why and your reason is

18:31

important to keep you going.

18:33

On the days when you can't rely on motivation,

18:36

it is your why that keeps you going.

18:38

I think you wanted to cover one that

18:40

was very specific to the LGBT community next.

18:43

So yeah, gender affirming goals.

18:45

So for our trans brothers, that might

18:48

be working towards a more masculine silhouette.

18:51

So for some people, that might be bigger

18:53

shoulders, bigger chest and arms, a broader back.

18:57

So their why is going to be specific to that.

19:00

So they would need to then change their training

19:02

to make sure that that is their end goal.

19:04

That is a really strong why

19:06

for anybody that has gender dysphoria.

19:09

Yeah, absolutely amazing.

19:11

So just to move on and give another

19:13

couple of quick examples, you know that we

19:15

never shy away from sensitive topics here.

19:19

Such as?

19:20

Such as.

19:20

I'm actually going to put this out here.

19:22

We are approaching our mid-40s.

19:24

I'm going to be 45 a week tomorrow.

19:26

Okay. And do you still wake up

19:28

every morning with morning wood?

19:30

Luckily, I do.

19:31

And you know me, a gentle breeze is all it takes.

19:34

Yes, I do.

19:35

So I am very fortunate as well.

19:38

I'm just going to say it because these

19:41

are things that need to be talked about.

19:43

Every morning, I wake up solid as a rock.

19:46

Not everybody in our age

19:48

category can say the same.

19:50

This is not medical advice.

19:52

But for some people, they maybe want to

19:54

work out to keep their cardiovascular health.

19:58

so that they feel more virile.

20:00

And again, that could be another example of a why.

20:03

That could be your reason or one of your reasons.

20:05

And on that note, stamina in the bedroom as well.

20:09

Having the core strength, the flexibility, and just being able

20:13

to last as long as you want to last.

20:15

That's super important.

20:16

Yeah, I can still get my legs behind my head.

20:18

With a little help.

20:19

If you are fit, healthy, strong, you've

20:23

got good core strength, you've got flexibility.

20:28

I know from experience, I'm going to put

20:30

it out there, you have better sex.

20:33

So you're picking yourself up there, eh?

20:34

In general, if anything is going to motivate people,

20:37

if that is something that is important to people,

20:40

make that your reason for going to the gym.

20:42

Yeah, and I think the last one

20:43

in this category, I would say, is

20:45

the most common one, and that's aesthetics.

20:48

A lot of people come to us and

20:49

they say, I want to look hot.

20:51

And that is different for everyone.

20:53

For some people, it's six-pack abs

20:56

and, you know, low body fat.

20:59

For other people, it's just feeling confident

21:00

in their own skin and their clothes.

21:02

So, again, drill down and what

21:05

is that why for you?

21:06

What does hot, inverted commas, mean for you?

21:09

Yeah. A popular trend at the minute is a

21:11

lot of gay guys want a big ass.

21:14

They want a juicy dump truck ass.

21:16

And that, again, that's totally valid.

21:18

And that leads us into the next sort of

21:21

phase, which is using your why to determine how

21:25

you then progress in the gym next.

21:28

So using that example is, if you want a

21:31

bigger ass, for instance, that is then going to

21:35

dictate what you do in the gym, because maybe

21:38

that means that you sit down and look at

21:40

what you have been doing and figure out how

21:43

you evolve your training plan to maybe add more

21:47

squats, more split squats, lunges, anything that you can

21:51

think of that can maybe juice up the bum.

21:54

Side note as well, like I said, I'm

21:55

going to be 45 a week tomorrow.

21:57

And for me, when I was in my

21:59

20s and 30s, definitely aesthetics were super important.

22:02

They still are in a way just now, but

22:04

I actually prefer my body with a little bit

22:07

more body fat on it just now.

22:09

I feel like I look a bit

22:10

bigger, a bit bulkier, muscle bear.

22:13

I'm not saying I'm a bear.

22:15

I'm a bear now?

22:15

Can I still be a cub?

22:17

No, I can't, can I?

22:18

I'm too old.

22:19

Are you an otter?

22:20

Maybe an otter.

22:20

Maybe I'm an otter still.

22:22

I'll go for that.

22:23

Our friend Nina still calls us her

22:25

otters, so hey, let's go for that. Yeah.

22:27

But I think the point I'm making is that the

22:29

way I wanted to look when I was younger is

22:32

a bit different from how I'm comfortable now.

22:35

So again, this section is

22:37

really about strategy now.

22:39

So the first bit was foundations, figuring

22:42

out your why and connecting with it.

22:44

This now is about your strategy for

22:48

turning your why into a programme, essentially.

22:54

So we've used that example of the

22:56

ass and how that would dictate stuff.

22:59

Let's talk about sex again, because it's

23:02

something we love to talk about.

23:03

So using that example of somebody who wants

23:06

better bedroom performance, off the top of your

23:10

head, what do you think they would maybe

23:13

need to look at in terms of their

23:15

training programme to make that a reality?

23:17

Well, if it's stamina, cardio, that's the

23:20

first thing that you want to introduce.

23:22

If you're maybe not doing a lot

23:24

of cardio at the moment, then maybe

23:26

that's something you want to look at.

23:27

If you are doing it, maybe look

23:29

at increasing your cardio a bit more.

23:31

Exactly.

23:31

And we're not talking about like sprinting

23:34

on the treadmill because you don't want

23:36

to sprint in the bedroom either.

23:37

It can be slow, steady state cardio so

23:40

that you can last a long time.

23:42

Let's think endurance.

23:43

Endurance.

23:44

It's a marathon, not two pumps and a squat.

23:46

Exactly.

23:47

We've all been there.

23:51

But as well as that, as well as the endurance

23:54

and the cardio element of it, somebody, if that is

23:58

their why, they might also want to think about the

24:00

actions that they're doing in the bedroom.

24:03

So, for instance, they might want to work on

24:06

their core strength because that is super important.

24:10

They might want to work on

24:11

their legs and their glute strength.

24:14

Maybe incorporating exercises like hip thrusts, which

24:19

I think should be very obvious why

24:21

that would be relevant to strengthen those

24:23

muscles in the bedroom. Yeah.

24:24

Well, if you're a top anyway.

24:26

I was going to say, think about your

24:27

positioning or whatever bunk you sleep on.

24:29

Yes.

24:32

Sorry, we've been interrupted by our dog

24:34

who's clearly having a very loud dream.

24:39

I don't know if the microphone will

24:40

pick that up, but it's very cute.

24:42

Very cute. It's funny how we're talking about sex and then

24:44

there's mad noises going on in the background.

24:46

Yeah. So depending on what position you take

24:49

in the bedroom, obviously you want to

24:51

make that specific to your training.

24:53

So like you're saying, hip thrusts,

24:56

quad exercises, hamstrings, glute exercises, brilliant.

25:00

If you're a top, if you're bottoming,

25:02

maybe flexibility is going to be a

25:03

wee bit more important to you.

25:05

Core strength as well, depending on what positions

25:08

that you're going to be getting into.

25:09

And I mean, if you're an absolute power

25:12

bottom who likes to try lots of different

25:15

positions, things like, you know, strengthening up your

25:18

quads could be really important if you are

25:20

the kind of person that likes to get

25:22

on top and dominate as a power bottom.

25:24

These are all very realistic goals to

25:26

train for in the gym that can

25:28

have a real life benefit for you.

25:31

Absolutely. And if you're vers, like us,

25:33

you just need to train everything.

25:34

Giving away all our secrets on the show, Alan.

25:39

So we're an open book.

25:40

You know that.

25:41

Do you want to rephrase that?

25:44

Why?

25:45

Because that sounds like

25:46

we're saying something else.

25:47

Open book as in terms

25:49

of information that we provide.

25:51

Yes. Yes, very much so.

25:53

But yeah, we see the benefit in our sex life

25:57

from the training that we do in the gym.

26:01

Wouldn't you say so?

26:02

Absolutely. Yes.

26:03

Would you say so?

26:04

Definitely. Good.

26:05

Yes. Yes.

26:07

We can, I mean, we can last a long time.

26:09

Giving away all our secrets.

26:11

Yeah. And as I've already said previously, like, we

26:15

definitely have no problems in the erection area.

26:18

And again, a lot of that

26:20

comes down to our cardiovascular health.

26:23

I think as well, diet has

26:24

got an important factor in that.

26:27

But that's maybe another podcast show.

26:29

Yeah. You're going to hear me say something that I

26:32

don't usually say, but enough sex for now.

26:34

Okay.

26:36

Let's do one last example.

26:39

So we talked about tennis earlier.

26:41

So off the top of your head, how would

26:43

perhaps somebody who really likes playing tennis and wants

26:46

to get back into it, adapt their training plan

26:49

to start really focusing on that in the gym?

26:52

So off the top of my head, I

26:54

would say unilateral work is going to be

26:56

really good for someone who plays tennis.

26:59

So training each side individually.

27:02

Yes. Dumbbells, for instance, can be great because both sides

27:06

of your body need to work equally if you're

27:08

using a dumbbell in each hand, for instance.

27:10

Yeah, yeah.

27:10

Think dumbbells, kettlebells, not so much barbells

27:13

because they're not going to work unilaterally.

27:15

One side of your body can cheat

27:17

and do a bit more work.

27:18

Exactly, yeah.

27:19

You want to maybe think about

27:20

some core work as well.

27:22

So working on that is going to be

27:24

super important, especially if you're twisting in tennis.

27:27

Maybe go and research about how you can

27:30

train your core in a rotational manner.

27:32

I mean, Russian twists are really, really good,

27:36

where you hold a weight or a kettlebell

27:37

and you're twisting from side to side.

27:39

That will give you immense rotational power, which

27:43

is super important for sports like tennis.

27:45

And I think with tennis, you'd obviously

27:48

want some explosive work as well.

27:50

Yeah, maybe some plyometric training would

27:52

be good to throw in.

27:54

And again, we're not

27:55

giving individual advice here.

27:57

What we're saying is, you

27:58

now have some inspiration.

28:00

If this is you, if you are

28:01

this person, go and do some research

28:04

about the stuff that we mentioned, the

28:05

unilateral, the plyometric, the rotational core work.

28:08

Use this as your impetus to then say, okay,

28:11

let's try new things in the gym to get

28:13

me unstuck from what I have been doing.

28:16

Exactly. It's about breaking through that wall

28:18

that we talked about earlier.

28:19

So at the outset, we said this

28:21

was going to be three steps.

28:22

We have actually covered step one, which

28:24

was discovering and connecting with your why.

28:27

We've covered step three, which is building your strategy

28:30

and your programming around your why, but we actually

28:33

skipped step two, and we purposely did that because

28:37

we just want this to be the last thing

28:39

that we leave people with.

28:41

So the second step is super important, and

28:45

it's probably one of the most difficult to

28:48

do because it is connect with your why,

28:51

remember your reason, remind yourself every single day.

28:57

Yeah, that's your motivator, isn't it?

28:59

That's you visiting your

29:01

discipline every single day.

29:03

You know, some people might find that really easy.

29:05

Other people might find that really

29:07

difficult to revisit this daily.

29:10

So a post-it note on your fridge is brilliant.

29:13

You're going to see it every single day.

29:15

And what you write on that is your why.

29:18

Why you're getting up at 5am if

29:20

you're a morning person for the gym.

29:22

Why you get into the gym after work

29:24

at 5 o'clock when it's absolutely heaving.

29:26

That's your why.

29:27

So make sure that you can see it every day.

29:29

And for those tuning in who are young and

29:31

don't know what a post-it note is, an alternative

29:34

could be that maybe you change your phone wallpaper.

29:38

Maybe you jump into Instagram stories, use the

29:41

text, write what your why is, take a

29:43

screenshot, set it as your wallpaper.

29:45

Look at you, pure down with the kids.

29:47

Look at you not.

29:49

We have prattled on for long enough here.

29:52

Let's just summarise then.

29:54

So our three steps.

29:55

Step one is, identify your why.

29:59

Know the reasons for going to the gym.

30:01

Step two, remember your why.

30:03

Remind yourself on a daily basis.

30:05

Have visual cues, whatever you need, but connect

30:08

with your why and your reasons every day.

30:11

And step three is to build your

30:13

plan and your strategy around your why.

30:16

And one last note is, maybe your why, maybe

30:19

your reasons will change as time goes on.

30:21

So feel free to revisit this stuff.

30:24

It's not a failure, in inverted quotes,

30:27

if you need to change things up

30:29

a little bit, if your life changes.

30:32

So flexibility is important. Absolutely.

30:35

Right, I think we are done there.

30:37

So why don't we wrap up the show?

30:41

Hopefully after that fitness section, you feel that you

30:44

are ready to go it alone and just do

30:46

the next stage of your fitness journey.

30:48

But if you are like the client that we

30:50

spoke about earlier, and so many of the other

30:53

guys that we have worked with, and maybe you

30:56

need a little support and a little help to

30:58

bring you there, you can work with us.

31:01

So Alan and I run Outlifting.

31:03

It is an online fitness coaching business

31:06

specifically for gay, bi, and trans guys.

31:10

It's built for you by guys

31:12

who know exactly what you need.

31:14

We provide coaching plans, nutrition

31:17

support, accountability, weekly video check-ins.

31:21

There is so much to what we offer.

31:23

If you think that you could benefit from

31:26

that for maybe it's just for a three-month

31:28

kickstart, or maybe for a longer training period,

31:32

then please do get in touch.

31:34

We will meet up with you virtually by

31:37

video call for a discovery session to understand

31:40

what your needs are and to explain how

31:42

we might be able to help you.

31:45

You can then decide if we are a good fit for you.

31:48

And if you want to take that forward,

31:49

we would love to work with you.

31:51

So book in for your free discovery call now.

31:54

Link is in the show notes.

31:56

So that is us for another week.

31:58

And don't forget, we have

32:00

new episodes every Sunday.

32:02

If you haven't subscribed, why not

32:04

hit that subscribe button so you

32:06

don't miss out on the conversation.

32:08

You can catch us on YouTube,

32:10

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32:14

As ever, thank you for tuning in.

32:15

We look forward to seeing you next time.

32:18

But for now, over and Outlifting.