Gym Anxiety? How Gay Guys Can Conquer Gymtimidation

We all know what it feels like

to walk into a crowded gym filled

with anxiety and feeling like an outsider.

It takes us back to those days at school

when we wanted a sick note for PE.

Today we're talking all about Gymtimidation and how you

can turn your workout anxiety into genuine confidence so

that you can claim your space in the gym.

Welcome to episode 12 of The Outlifting Lounge.

I'm Derec.

And I'm Alan.

This is the show all about

pride, fitness and everything in between.

We'll be talking all about gym anxiety in the

second half of the show, including how to

get your hands on our free Gymtimidation ebook.

If you can't wait for that, feel free

to skip ahead to that chapter now though.

But first, we're going to have a right good

chat about what we've been up to this year

so far, including the telly we've been watching that's

been keeping us glued to this couch every night.

Right Derec, get the show started.

Yeah, I think what's been taking up most of our

time is our Make It Stick in 2026 resolution workshop.

We've had loads of guys taking

part in that and it's been

super, super popular, super busy, eh?

Yeah, it's been good.

It's been really, really good.

A lot of our current clients are doing

it, obviously, and a lot of people

that we've met for the first time.

So it's been great getting to know everybody

and what their goals are for 2026.

Yeah, it's a good wee mix, actually.

There's quite a lot of different people doing it.

Lots of different resolutions ranging from wanting to go

out running more, wanting to do more yoga to

somebody wanting to write their first book as well.

Yeah, no, it's been good that

it hasn't been purely fitness focused.

We're running this course, but

we're also doing the course.

So we're doing it along with the guys

with our resolutions, which we've spoken about previously.

So do you want to give an

update on how the resolutions are going?

Yeah, so one of my resolutions was to read

more and I'm actually doing pretty well with that.

I'm about 90% through my first book.

So I reckon a couple more nights

and I'll be done with that one.

And I've already got my next few lined up.

Yeah, you've turned into an actual proper bookworm.

Do you know what?

I've actually logged out of my personal Instagram

and it's really, really helped because normally when

I'd be doom scrolling I'm actually reading and

it's been so much better for my mental

health and just focus with everything else.

It feels good as well so I'm enjoying it.

I think that's always one way to make changes

and resolutions stick is by replacing an unhealthy habit

with something that is healthier or better for you.

So it seems to be working for you so far.

And I'm not missing Instagram at all.

I'm on it enough for work for Outlifting.

So actually having one less thing to

look at has actually been quite nice.

So what about you?

Your resolution was to do more yoga?

I have to say I'm not quite there with the

full daily practice yet, but there has been intention.

I have started, I'm on a process, but that's

what our Make It Stick workshop is.

It's a 28 day workshop.

It's not all about starting off, all

guns blazing and then fizzling out.

And we'd both said as well, Spanish was

something that we wanted to do more of.

And you've already started

looking into structured lessons.

There's a course that runs here,

but it doesn't start until September.

So we obviously need to do some work

before that, but we've set the stone rolling.

Is that the phrase? No.

Set the ball rolling?

Set the ball rolling.

Yes, that's what I was trying to say.

So that's been pretty much it.

We've been doing the Make It Stick workshop.

We've been running the business as usual.

We're doing the podcast and we are also

managing to squeeze in a little bit of

New Year's telly as well, because there's some

really good New Year's telly at the minute.

Traitors is back.

How excited are we for that?

And I think a lot of people that

I'm seeing on social media are saying

that they're excited for it as well.

It's a good season again, and they've got

the twist with the secret traitor this

year, which makes it even more interesting.

It's quite a good spin on it because

you feel like you're playing along at home as well.

Yeah. Like you're trying to figure out

who this extra traitor is?

Spoiler alert.

So we're recording this on a Thursday

that we're having our Graham Norton moment.

When like when he's talking to people

and they forget what day it is.

So we record this on Thursday

and it goes out on Sunday.

So obviously last night's episode. Was episode four.

Secret traitor was revealed and it's who

we thought it was going to be.

Gay Icon.

It's who I thought it was gonna be.

You were just all over

the show with your predictions.

I know. But she was one of them.

We'll do spoiler alert in three, two, one.

Fiona. Love Fiona, she is... She's gonna be the

next gay icon along with Linda and...

It was Amanda.

Amanda.

Diane.

Linda.

Fiona.

And now Fiona.

I think Fiona might pip the post she

might be the queen of all queens.

So we're looking forward to

tonight's episode and then Friday.

Who knows by the time this goes out she could

have been banished and then we'll end up with egg

on our faces but in the turret we have got

Irish, Welsh, Scottish, we've got three Celtic traitors killing off

all the English people the way it should be.

I am joking when I say that.

I did not think you were

going to go there with that.

Jesus Christ, Derec.

Do you want us to have no clients?

F***ing hell.

That was a total joke, by the way.

No, but I'm loving the fact that there's this

Celtic traiter trio in there, this little triad.

Yes.

Who are together.

Yes. Moving on.

F***ing hell.

So Traitors UK is, as always, really, really good.

We're also excited for... Traitors US

with our pal Alan Cumming.

He's not your pal, he's an acquaintance.

And wee Lala.

Wee Lala! Wee Lala's so cute.

And Alan's outfits.

The real star of the show.

We saw some snippets of what he's wearing and it's

just like even better than last season.

I think out of all of the seasons of

Traitors that we've watched, he is the best host.

By far. Absolutely. Of all of them. Absolutely.

Murder.

I love how he's kind of like

partly himself but also partly Moira Rose.

It's when he does the bits to camera

like ad hoc that's him whereas when he's

presenting it's obviously a character he's playing.

We're excited for that.

Is there anybody in particular from US

Traitors that you're excited to watch?

Lisa Rinna, oh my God.

She is i-con-ic-a. Iconic!

I love her.

She's absolutely brilliant.

You don't really know her because you don't watch Real

Housewives, but she's like a gay icon as well.

She's brilliant.

Okay, I'm excited for that.

I've seen a photo of her and I like her lips, so.

Wow. She does have very, has she

had some work done, maybe?

Eh, don't think so.

Touched by an angel, no.

I think when you watch her,

you'll really warm to her.

Okay, the person that I am excited for is

Monét X Change, obviously, because she's just iconic.

She's just amazing.

Do you think she'll bring the sponge dress?

I think she might bring the sponge dress to

mop up the sweat that she'll be sweating

from all of the intensity in the castle.

Yes. It won't be all the sweat from the hot

Scottish summer, so it's got to be from something.

Well, I don't know, because the weather in

the UK Traitors, looks amazing just now, apart

from last night's when it was pishing down.

When it was raining.

No, but there's been a few previous episodes that

were outside after breakfast and it was beautiful.

I'm pretty sure when we were watching yesterday's

that when they were all in the cages,

Sam was literally shaking, you could hear the

cage rattling because it was so cold.

Okay, spoiler, it does rain in Scotland.

Don't forget they're up the north of Scotland,

they're in the Highlands, do you know what I mean, so it's obviously

going to get a bit of rain.

What else are we watching at the minute?

I don't know, Derec, you tell me what

else are we watching at the minute.

My favourite! Drag Race. Another one.

So yeah, Drag Race US season 18 has started.

And to be fair, right, hang on, so the

two seasons of Drag Race that are airing at

the minute, Drag Race Canada season 6 has been?

Very good.

Very good, right, you'll admit that one.

Yeah, it's probably been the best season, or

right up there, of Drag Race Canada.

PM, love them, absolutely brilliant, off the wall, bonkers

and that's what I love about Drag Race to

be fair because you think drag queens like pageant

queens you know absolutely poised everything is on point

and you've got PM coming along wearing jester hats

for doing like lip syncs. It's been, I

think there's been a really good broad spectrum of

queen on that season there's been a really high

standard of talent. It's been a very good season.

And the drama as well has been really good.

And then in contrast, so we've got Drag Race

season 18, the US version has just started.

And that again, like, well, by the

time this airs, there'll be episode two

out, but we've only seen episode one.

But judging from that, it's going

to be a really good season.

Can I just say though, they all consider themselves

older queens and they're all like, who's over 30?

I'm like, oh sweet mother of god.

I know, as if it's some sort of

like geriatric nursing home for old drag queens.

I'm going to be 45 in a couple of months.

I'm granddaddy.

To be fair though, I kind of see the

point because at our age would you really want

to be doing death drops and jumping into splits?

Like, I don't think I would survive that.

It would be a literal death drop.

I make a noise when I get up off the couch now.

I know you do.

Maybe once I've got back into the yoga properly,

I will try some stunts and shenanigans and

tomfoolery, but yeah, I think I'm too old.

Life insurance is up to date, yeah?

Yeah, I can't really deal with

a broken hip at the minute.

No, definitely not.

My favourite episode for Drag Race is always their

walk-in episode because I think you get a really

good feel for who they are and the outfits

and stuff so yeah the calibre is very good.

A lot of experience there, a lot of seasoned drag

queens, it was a really good episode, I liked that.

So we've got that and then we've got season

three of UK vs The World coming soon.

Canada will have finished by

the time UK... Thank goodness!

I know, you can't really cope with too

many at the one time can you?

It just gets confusing who's in what season.

Do you feel the same way about Real Housewives?

Yeah, I actually do.

I do.

I forget who's in what one.

And to be fair, they all end up going to

the same surgeon and then they're just looking the same.

Exactly.

Right, that's enough telly chat.

I think we've done Drag Race

to death, just like RuPaul has.

So let's move on to the fitness section.

Welcome to the fitness section of the show

and we are talking about gym anxiety today.

Alan, why are we talking about this

at the start of January in particular?

It's the perfect time to talk about it.

So many people are making resolutions

for 2026, including getting healthier, getting

fitter, changing their nutrition habits.

So it's a really good time for us to talk about it.

I just want to say something as well.

See for regular gym goers,

stop complaining about newbies being in the gym.

I'm going to put it out there.

Everybody has been a newbie in the

gym at some point, including yourself.

Go over and offer to help if you can, if

you think that somebody needs a bit of help or

needs a bit of encouragement or just needs like something.

Feel free to go and ask them, make them feel included

because everybody has to start somewhere. I used to do it

in Glasgow if I saw someone struggling with a piece

of equipment I would walk up to them and say,

would you mind if I helped you figure this out?

And the relief on their face. So if

you see someone struggling, please offer them some

help. It could mean the world of difference.

When we were teaching fitness classes in Glasgow, especially Bodypump

I used to love that new year intake because

there were a lot of new faces, there were people

there and I saw it as my goal to get

those people to come back again, to make them feel

like it was a safe space, that they didn't have

to have that anxiety and you could see the

relief in their faces when you just made the

effort to go and talk to them at the

start of class and give them permission to just

take it easy for the first few classes to

let themselves build up their confidence and their knowledge.

And do you know, there were people that came to

my classes for years after that, stuck with it.

I think fitness classes are a great way

to start off your fitness journey if you're

not confident about going into a gym.

You know, you've got the support of

the instructor, you've got the support

of the other participants as well.

It's such a really good social aspect of it as well.

I've seen people come for the first time and they're

up the back corner, not sure what they're doing.

And then within a couple of

months, they're up the front row.

And I love that because they're so confident and

to see the progress in someone from the start

of their Bodycombat journey to the end is

just, it's the best feeling in the world.

It's very special.

We can doubt ourselves sometimes.

That's how you know that you're a good instructor.

You're good at what you do when you

see that happening, when you see this change,

when you're genuinely inspiring people to come

back and make them enjoy the gym.

You're forcing them to enjoy being at the gym

at first and then they grow to love it.

Yeah. It becomes a bit addictive.

What I would say is,

as good as classes are for bringing people in

and giving them that introduction, making them feel safe

in a gym environment, they can also become a

bit of a crutch for people as well.

So that transition from the class environment into

the actual gym floor can be very difficult

for some people and instead of making the

transition they just cling to their class because

it's like a comfort blanket for them.

It's very similar and I'm sure people can

relate to this when they go into

the gym they've got their comfort machinery.

Treadmill, elliptical and they don't really

venture from that you know.

Yeah totally I think as well as that

there is an added dimension to this because

obviously this show is primarily aimed at the

LGBT community and for our community I think

the gym has that extra facet of being,

like you said at the start of the show,

almost like bringing you back to those school days

when you felt like an outsider, you felt like

you weren't good enough, you felt like you were

always going to get picked last, people didn't want

you in their team, that kind of thing.

I think for a lot of people

stepping into that gym environment for the

first time, it can be very daunting.

I'm sure we've all got stories from PE at school.

Like I used to play hockey with the girls because

I didn't want to play football with the boys

and I had to play football one day and

I remember the ball was just flying towards me.

I didn't have a clue what to do.

Do you know, I still have trauma.

I'm just going to say some words here to you and

I'm going to see if I get a kind of reaction.

Ball hitting you in the face.

You know, like, I think everybody's got that,

like, that trauma of getting smacked in the

face with a football at some point.

And it just, it does bring me back.

I hated it.

Yeah.

So we understand truly gym anxiety because of

past trauma is, yeah, we totally get it.

Going into a gym environment and making it yours and

getting out of your comfort zone, after a while, when

you grow into that space and you make it yours,

that is your way of overcoming it and dealing with

that trauma and claiming that space as your own.

Before we actually begin to give out lots of tips

here, we should probably point out that what we're talking

about today in the content is just a little

snippet of what is in our free ebook, Gymtimidation.

So that is available for free.

There's a link in the description of the

show notes that people can download it from.

And yeah, we hope that they do.

It's available in an illustrated

PDF format, a beautifully illustrated.

Who illustrated it?

Well, that would be me.

Yes, so it's available in an illustrated PDF format,

or if you prefer, like you do, to

do your reading on a Kindle, then there's

also an EPUB that people can get too.

So yeah, and it's totally free.

It's our gift to people because we just

want to get as many people, particularly from

the LGBT community, involved in fitness as possible.

Yeah, we always want to see people doing well.

Like when I speak to people on Instagram

and I say to them, well, we've got

this free ebook, do you want it?

They're just like, really?

Yeah, like have it, like we made it to make

your life easier and we always want to see people

doing well and if you can use this and then

impart that knowledge to other people as well, even better.

Yeah, so a lot of what we're going to talk

about now is covered in the book but there is

so much more in the e-book as well so

please do download it after you watch the show.

The thing I like about the e-book is

in the first section it talks about our

fears and our anxiety and I think

they're valid, you know, like going into that new

environment can be such a scary thing and one

of the quotes that we have in there is

"Worry gives a small thing, a big shadow."

As with so many other things in life,

it all comes back to fear and that

is what keeps us from realising our ambitions,

our dreams, our goals, whatever it is.

Some people stay fearful for most of their lives

and then realise when they get older, you know,

I've held myself back from my full potential.

For so many years I thought about becoming a Bodypump

instructor but for so many years I held back

and held back and thought oh I can't do that

I can't do that I won't be good enough

and when I eventually went and did it it

was the best thing. I loved teaching those classes.

I loved becoming a fitness instructor and that was

my first step into becoming a fitness professional but

I wish, if I could go back and do

things, I wish I had done that sooner.

Yeah, fear definitely holds us back for

me and not fitness related, it's Spanish.

I'm really fearful of speaking Spanish in case I

make a mistake and I'm never going to

get better at it unless I do it.

So the fear of making an arse of myself

basically is the thing that's holding me back.

It is in the process that we learn, so

it's by making mistakes that we learn and that

applies across lots of things whether it's in a

gym environment or whether it's learning a language or

whatever and the fear of making mistakes is

very common but that absolutely holds us back

from then learning and growing and becoming better.

Should we touch upon some of the

common fears that people have entering a

gym environment for the first time?

I think one of the big fears that hold

people back is the fear of judgement in gym

environments and especially this time of year when it's

going to be a bit busier and we've touched

on this previously that when you're in the gym

have a look around people are too busy doing

one of three things. They're either working out,

they're on their phone, or they're

checking themselves out in the mirror.

Everybody just kind of cares about

themselves and what they're doing.

They're getting on with their own workout and

a lot of the time as well even

though you think everybody knows what they're doing,

they might not. People are at different stages in

their journey or perhaps people are trying new things

out and everybody's feeling a bit self-conscious, even the

people who have been in the gym for years.

Yeah, I do as well.

Sometimes when I'm in the gym, especially

the gym we go to, some of

the guys in there are absolutely massive.

And as people know, I'm a short arse.

I'm five foot five, you know, so

being in that gym environment sometimes for

me can be really, really overwhelming.

People have

different goals in fitness so for instance I am not

the kind of person that wants to be like really

massive and jacked I don't want that that's okay for

some people if that's the way you want your body

to look great go for it work for it but

that's not the goal of most ordinary people anyway.

For me, fitness is more about feeling good within my body,

liking what I see in the mirror and making sure that

I am living as long as I can and for

those years I am as healthy as I can be.

Yeah, absolutely.

I think one of the other big

fears is the fear of failure.

So, the fear of failure could be that you don't know

what the equipment is, how to use it or

the jargon that is used within the fitness industry.

And that's totally understandable as well

because there's so much misinformation.

At the minute, if people are looking for more health

content, the algorithm is going to serve that up.

And what you will invariably get are these

big jacked gym bros who are saying,

this is what you need to do.

Don't do this.

Don't do that.

And a lot of the advice that's out

there is, particularly around lifting weights, is maybe

not even starter level, not even intermediate level.

A lot of it is for a more advanced level.

And that's not where people need to be

if they're starting out on their gym journey.

What you actually need to focus on is the basics.

and the basic form, the basic

technique, those kind of things.

We like to think that we cut through a lot

of the BS that's out there that gets fed to

people and I think we do that really well via

Instagram, via the podcast, but especially in the ebook.

There's so many great tips for you just to get going

which is going to really help you in your journey.

And do you know what?

I've been going to the gym for...

I couldn't even count the years. I know my stuff but

there's even times when I'll go in and I think

oh I'll try a new exercise or I'll try something

different and I feel like a newbie. Every time you

do something for the first time you do because it

does feel quite overwhelming. I think the difference for somebody

who's starting the gym is that there is so much.

There is so much to learn, there's so

much to know, and it feels really daunting.

But you don't need to know it all at once.

If you just want to go to the gym for

a half an hour on your first session, and there's

maybe like two exercises really that you're doing, do that.

If that helps you feel confident, then do it.

You don't need to do like a

full hour, hour and a half workout.

It actually happened to me in the gym yesterday.

I was using the hyper extension machine.

and it was in the wrong position for me and I

could not, for the love of God, figure out how to

change this and I was getting so in my head about

it and the gym was super busy and so I was

coming off of it and I was like casually looking at

it to try to figure out how to do it

I had to do two other sets and then I came

off and I was like of course that's how you move

it but I was getting so worked up in my

head thinking everybody was looking at me and they weren't.

They were on the treadmills, they were stretching, they

were doing whatever but I was just getting myself

wound up which made me feel worse because I

couldn't figure it out and then I was talking

to myself like you're an absolute idiot, you're a

PT, you should know how to do this.

But it was a piece of equipment that I haven't used.

That negative self-talk is so

damaging, it really is.

I think another general fear that people would have,

and I think this is again specific to LGBT

community definitely, but it's this fear of rejection.

You think that you're going to go in and feel

out of place and people are going to look at

you and think that they don't belong here and

it can feel like that sometimes and especially if you

go into a gym environment where it feels like there

is a community, an existing community in that gym.

People know each other, they're talking to each

other and you're not part of that.

It can feel again quite exclusionary.

So how did we go over that?

It's like any new environment really.

If you were to walk into a club or

somewhere that you're not currently a member of, you've

just joined, you have to meet people for

the first time, you have to know people.

Sometimes it takes a while to get to know

people and find your feet and feel comfortable.

And do you know a really good way

of doing that actually is speaking to either

a PT that's in there or a gym

instructor, someone that works on the gym floor.

Ask them to show you how a piece of equipment

works and I bet every time you walk in there

they'll say hi to you, you know, and you can

say hi to them and it just gives you that

one person, there's like an anchor if you like.

And also as well if you are going to the gym at

a set time.

You've got a regular schedule.

You will start to see the same people over

and over who are also on a similar schedule.

And do you know what?

Like if you kind of make eye contact with

them by chance, say hello, just smile, say hello.

And it's, you know, there will be that

acknowledgement and you'll find that that'll just start

something where they will say hello to you

every time they see you as well.

Yeah. We're not talking about cruising.

We're actually just saying, say hello.

Yeah.

Definitely not right outside the shower cubicle.

Depends what gyms you go to, I've

heard of some central London gyms

that are exactly like that, but yeah.

Yeah, maybe save it for the

gym floor, just pleasantries, pleasantries.

But that can have a big impact as

well and it takes time to build up

connections, it takes time to feel comfortable.

And in the meantime, you just need to

keep reassuring yourself, try to limit the negative

talk, try to replace it with positive.

If you just need to have like a

bit of a mantra before you go into

the gym, tell yourself repeatedly a few times

that, you know, nobody cares what you're doing.

They only care about themselves,

that you belong here.

Those kinds of things, just do

it until you start believing it.

Good advice.

Those are a few of the common fears.

Shall we actually talk about

some of the practical stuff?

So I think there's just too much in

the e-book to go through on the show.

Shall we talk about just some of the strategies that we

talk about and some of the tips in the book?

Yeah, absolutely.

I think the first visit is going

to be your defining visit, really.

What we recommend is you don't even

have to go and do a workout.

You could even just go in, walk

through, get familiar where everything is, figure

out what equipment you need to use.

If your cardio machines are set up in an

area where you can see the gym, that's great.

You could go in, go for a walk on the treadmill,

go on the elliptical and just suss it out basically.

And normally gyms generally are spread like that

so that there is a good view from

the treadmills or the other cardio machines.

Another thing as well is like every gym will have

a gym induction process and you'll get a member

of the gym floor staff who will show you

about, show you where everything is in the gym,

give you an opportunity to ask questions as well.

So if you are feeling a bit anxious about

the gym layout, the new environment, anything like that,

take up the offer of the gym induction, definitely.

And there's your anchor point as well.

That person hopefully would then be saying hi

to you every time that you're in there.

And then when you do go in yourself, remember though

that you don't need to get stressed and panicked.

There will be a stretch area

somewhere on that gym floor.

If you just need to go and have a little

bit of quiet time and stretch out, sit on a

mat, stretch some muscles, do that because that will give

you an opportunity to sit back, again, survey your surroundings,

have a look about and just get yourself into a

place of calm before you decide where you're going next.

Another way to deal with that anxiety

is to create your own little bubble.

And I'm not talking about like

a Glinda from Wicked bubble.

Although if you want to have

one of those, then you can.

Yeah, but if you're going to do that, you

need to have the full pink gown as well.

And that could get caught in something.

It's probably a health and

safety problem on the treadmill.

Yeah, forget that. But it would be quite a way to

enter the gym and announce, the gay's here!

But a real world way to create your

own little bubble is noise cancelling headphones.

They're great.

Get your favourite music on, create a playlist that's

really going to get you going in the gym.

and it's going to just drown

out all that outside noise.

We really notice it in our gym

if we go and work out together.

The amount of noise is unbelievable.

Whereas when we put our noise cancelling headphones in,

get a bit of Hed Kandi on, showing

my age there, and away we go.

It's just a great way of getting you focused.

If you have got big overhead ones, even better

because they really help with that effect of

drowning everything out and creating your little bubble.

So that's a really good way of overcoming

some of the initial anxiety, just shutting

off one of those senses, getting your

favourite music on, high tempo, getting your

energy levels up and keeping you motivated.

Yeah. And a good way to avoid a busy gym

as well is going at times that aren't peak.

Now we know that not everybody can do that.

Like before work is going to be

a peak time, lunchtime, after work.

So if you could go at times outwith that,

that's really going to help with the number

of people that are in the gym.

And it's not going to be easy to do

that in January because the gym will get really

busy with all of the New Year's resolutions.

So the best way to do that is probably

to ask the staff when the quieter times

are, when is best for you to go.

If you need to strategise to make that happen,

so for instance, if mid-morning, mid-morning is usually a

quiet time, classes are busy but the gyms are

generally not as busy, if mid-morning is a

quiet time, can you rearrange your work schedule?

Will your work allow you, if you work a

9 to 5, to take an earlier lunch?

Would they maybe allow you to come in

to work a little bit earlier so

that you can take an earlier lunch?

Try to figure out solutions to these things

that would then allow you to prioritise going

to the gym at a certain time.

Sunday afternoons are normally quite good or like a couple

of hours before the gym is due to close.

It's quite good as well.

Obviously, depending on how your schedule

dictates when you can go.

But yeah, good points there as well.

Yes. So those are three survival strategies for

the gym that we have discussed.

We have got

having a walkthrough / induction

on your first visit.

We have got creating your own

little bubble with your headphones on.

And the third one is to embrace off peak

to go when the gym's a bit quieter.

The book has so many more.

So again, I'm just pushing the Gymtimidation ebook has

more than this, but this is just a

few that we're touching on in the show.

So what's next in this section, Alan?

So it's shifting from perfection to progress,

which is super important if you're just

starting out, especially in January when you know

you want to hit the ground running

and you want to do everything 100%.

If you don't manage to do that, it's not a failure.

What you want to be doing is just progressing.

So don't worry about being perfect the whole time.

Because the thing is, if you go too hard,

too fast, when your body's not used to it,

you'll end up injured and then you'll just fall

out of it and you won't go back.

Just like a house is built brick by brick, your fitness

is going to be built on small steps as well.

So, everybody's back at work this week after Christmas.

You're planning on doing X amount of workouts. If you

end up snowed under in work, which you might do,

don't feel that if you miss

a gym workout then that's it.

The big red f***-it button is

hit and that's your week ruined.

A 15 minute walk is still counted as a workout.

It doesn't have to be perfection.

Yes, consistency over intensity always.

I think something else that we wanted to

talk about is how people approach their goals.

So for instance, people might say, oh, I want to

be able to do like a 90 minute workout.

That's not going to be achievable

for all people straight away.

I think it's good to set out

smaller goals as you move along.

And then once you hit that target, celebrate that

win and then see where you're going next.

And in terms of goal setting,

making sure that everything is SMART.

People who are tuning in will

probably know what that is.

It's quite a common phrase used, especially in

the corporate world, but that stands for

Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.

So SMART goals are the way to go

at every stage of your fitness journey.

Sitting down, taking the time to map those out.

If you're not familiar with SMART or you need

a refresher, it's all there in the ebook.

Plug. Plug.

I think one point definitely on this is about

self-compassion and you know your fitness journey is a

marathon it's not a sprint you don't need to

be perfect and I know we're kind of laboring

that point but I think people can quite easily

beat themselves up if they don't do the things

they plan to do. All you have to do

is reassess and restart. Just be kind to yourself.

For newbies that would have come to my fitness

classes I think a really common one was people

who were maybe in their 30s or 40s and

who had neglected their fitness for a little while

and were getting back into it. Quite frequently

when you check back in with them after

their first class or their first few classes,

you could see it that they were a bit

down about how they were feeling about their performance,

about their strength and it's only when they go

through and they do an intense class for a

half an hour, 45 minutes, an hour that they

realise that their fitness levels are worse than they

thought they were or they don't really have

the core strength is always a big one.

People realise they don't have a strong core.

Or just in general the fitness and I very much

saw my role really to encourage them to say look,

meet yourself where you are at. You can't expect to

be super fit but just know that if you keep

coming back and doing this consistently in three months time

you will feel totally different. So it does not serve

you to beat yourself up, to have a pity party.

What it does serve you is to just see

every class, every single gym session, whatever it is,

as tick, I've done it, tick, I've done it.

Because you know that eventually a few weeks, maybe

a couple of months down the line, you're

going to look back and be like, wow,

I've actually come a long way since then.

I'm feeling stronger. My core is stronger.

I'm able to last longer in the class.

I'm not getting out of breath.

Those are the small wins that we're going to

focus on, not the fact that you're not where

you want to be when you start back.

So self-compassion is what it's all about.

So a little refresher on this section

was being kinder to ourselves, shifting our

goals to SMART goals and also changing

your mindset from perfection to progression.

And here's the thing, the ebook genuinely goes

into so much more detail on this.

There are so many more tips.

This is just a little taster of it.

What we also do in the book, so you

talked earlier about kind of like this fear of

not knowing what you're doing in the gym.

So we do break some of that down.

So for instance, we've got a glossary of some

of the most common phrases used in the gym.

So you know exactly what they are.

It's got the definitions.

We've got an overview of all of the major

muscle groups so that you know what they are.

And what they do most importantly, and there's

also a frequently asked questions section at the

back of the book which will answer quite

a lot of the questions that you might

have if you're a first time gym goer.

See if I started the gym for the first time

which was, don't even want to count how many

years it was like you said, see if I

had something like this when I first started it

just would have made the journey so much easier.

Yeah, like we said, Gymtimidation, it's

our ebook and it's free.

Totally free resource, no obligation.

You can get your copy today.

Link in the show notes.

As ever, thank you very much

for tuning in to the show.

Hopefully you found that information useful

in getting over your Gymtimidation.

However, if you feel that you need a

little extra help getting over the gym jitters,

remember that Outlifting is here to help you.

The Outlifting Lounge is just part of what we do.

We run Outlifting, which is a online

fitness coaching service for gay, bi and

trans men who want to transform

their bodies while building unstoppable confidence.

And we are here to hold your

hand every step of the way.

So if you want to learn

more, you can visit our website.

It's outlift.ing

On the website as well, there are multiple

buttons that you can click to make a

call, to set a call with us.

Totally free, totally no obligation.

We'll have a video chat with you to discuss

your goals and you can figure out if

our service is the right fit for you.

So go ahead and do that now.

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But for now, over and outlifting.

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