Sexy is what we go for.
We don't go for slaggy.
- Slutty sailor. - Slutty sailor!
Welcome to The Outlifting Lounge, the weekly show serving queer conversation,
news, and no-nonsense fitness for gay, bi, and trans guys.
I'm Alan.
And I'm his husband, Derec.
Coming up today, we discuss how our dog forced us to
take an unplanned break from the show and a big gay
music festival we're going to in Madrid next month.
Let's start the show.
Welcome back to the show.
It's been a couple of months.
We took a wee bit of an unplanned break.
It's been a crazy couple of months.
I can't believe actually the last time we put
a podcast out was the 31st of May.
Yeah.
And it's now the 2nd of August.
Yeah.
So sorry, we will explain why.
But just before we do, actually, I think it's really important
for us to briefly talk about what happened in Berlin recently.
Yeah, we are both still very shocked by the
terror attack on a pride gathering in the city.
Yeah, when the news broke last week, it was such a shock.
We couldn't believe it.
It's just a reminder that we aren't safe and of
the hatred that still exists towards the LGBTQ community.
Yeah.
And do you know what?
I think it's natural for people to maybe feel scared, but
I think it's also a reminder of why pride is needed
and that we can't hide in the shadows through fear. - Yeah.
Because that's what our community had to do for so long.
Whenever anybody asks why do we still march for pride, this is why.
Yeah.
And also, a lot of the comments online that I've
seen really demonstrate why we need to be very careful
and not allow this attack to be used by racists.
Because those people who are trying to make
something of this politically hate us anyway.
They don't really care about us.
They're just trying to manipulate the situation.
Yeah, it boils my piss.
It boils my piss as well.
All the comments that I've seen over the week from, you know,
far-right people, right-wing people saying, you know, why are you supporting Muslims?
Because obviously they are attacking your community
and they've just totally lost the point.
So, yeah, they can all get in the bin.
I've seen quite a lot.
Robert Jenrick, who was a Tory minister and is now in
Reform, he was saying something recently about 'name the threat'.
I think that's what he was saying.
He's basically saying, if prides are under threat, name the threat.
And, you know what?
In our living memory, think of things like the Admiral Duncan.
That was a white, so-called Christian, neo-Nazi terrorist.
So, yeah, we're not being divided.
We're not falling into the trap of blaming people
with different colour skin because, you know what?
There are threats from everywhere towards the LGBT community.
Absolutely.
Right.
Well, we'll get off our soapbox and start the show.
No, because that's our favourite thing to do.
Right.
So, this week's show is going to be shorter than normal, but we
do plan to get back to our normal format from next week.
So, if you do follow us on social media, you probably
already know why we have gone quiet and why we haven't
put out a podcast for the last couple of months.
Yes.
Our poor little baby, our dog Haggis, has been quite ill.
Like I've been saying, it's been a couple
of months since we've put a podcast out.
And can I just say, I feel like I've
aged about 20 years in the past few months.
And I certainly look at it as well.
You don't look 20 years older, but I think we do
both look a bit tired at the minute because we have
not really been sleeping very well for the last few months.
Yep.
So, just to get into it, our dog Haggis had his leg chopped off.
He did.
He had his leg chopped off.
But yeah.
So one of his front legs amputated and we're going to explain why.
Yeah.
So the start of May, we noticed that he had a lump at the top of his leg.
So we had taken him to the vets.
They were doing lots of tests on him.
And the last thing that they wanted to do was a biopsy.
So we waited a few weeks and then eventually they went in to do a
biopsy and then realized that he had a tumour at the top of his leg.
Now, thankfully, it was benign and they removed the tumour.
And we thought, great, let's get him recovered.
He's on the road to getting back to himself again.
But unfortunately, the tumour grew back very quickly and very aggressively.
Yeah, after it was removed and grew back,
we were referred to a specialist oncologist vet.
They were doing so many tests and we were awaiting a CT
scan because they didn't know whether it would be operable or not
to remove it because it was in such a tricky area.
So the CT scan would basically allow us to know whether
it was operable or whether the leg had to be amputated.
But that decision was kind of made for us because over the course of
a weekend, the tumour just grew rapidly and it became apparent to the vets
and to us that amputation was the only option that was left.
Yeah, he was in so much pain that
weekend and it was absolutely breaking our hearts.
So we took him into the vets on the Monday and then
the decision was made on the Monday to have his leg amputated
on the Tuesday, which was such a hard, hard decision to make.
But in hindsight, we know it definitely was like the best decision for him.
Oh yeah.
So he had totally lost his spark.
He was not the same dog.
He was in so much pain and discomfort.
There was no joy in life.
Everything was a struggle for him.
And the immediate recovery from the surgery was
really difficult, especially those first 24 hours.
I mean, the dog was just traumatized.
He had phantom limb syndrome.
He didn't know what was happening.
He couldn't really walk properly.
But we've got through it and we're through almost to the other side now.
We are a month down the line after surgery and we're
very happy to report that Haggis totally has his spark back.
Yeah, it's so nice.
Like each day we're seeing little glimpses of his old self, you know,
he's playing with his toys, just the way that he interacts with us.
It's incredible to see how resilient and how quickly he has bounced back.
Dogs are just amazing.
They're absolutely amazing.
And during that recovery period, so he had his surgery on
the Tuesday, and then my dad arrived for a week.
We booked him a flight to come over once we told him what was happening.
He arrived on the Saturday.
And if anybody listens to the podcast, you've heard us mention this before,
but my dad is basically Haggis' favourite person in the whole world.
So that for his recovery was just amazing to spend
some time with his Papa G for a week.
It was then that we really saw the playfulness coming back because that had
been missing for so long and he started getting on quite puppy-ish again.
So it was really special.
And then this week, we've had him out a little more.
We're gradually building up his strength and a dog came over
to him, a rough collie came over and was sniffing around
and he started playing with it and chasing it.
And he was running just as fast as he
would have done when he had four legs.
And I think we were really taken aback by that.
Yeah, yeah.
It was nice to see, but then I had him out last night
and he started playing with two other dogs and I think he forgot
that he's only got three legs, that he's now a tripod dog.
And he took a wee tumble and I absolutely shat myself.
And I think he got a wee fright as well, but he's doing great.
He's amazing.
He's been through so much in his 10 years.
He's had so many health issues, but we're very happy that he's still here.
And I keep saying this over and over because it's
so true, but he is my hero right now.
What he has gone through and how he has dealt with it.
We've been the wrecks.
Yeah, we have been the wrecks.
Just to put into perspective what we've been going
through, you know, it's constant trips to the vets.
It's taken two of us most times just to get him out
to the toilet because one of us has to carry him.
And because it's so hot here at the minute, we've had to, on
all of the toilet breaks, we've had to take him out in the
car to a shaded area so that he can do that.
There's been a lot of work for us.
And also, he is contained to an area downstairs in our
place where we put down, we went out and bought lots
of rugs so that he wouldn't slip on the tiles.
And one of us sleeps downstairs with him each night.
So we're taking it in turns to sleep on the sofa.
So we're not really getting great sleep or anything.
It's been tough.
You'd do anything for your children, right?
Yes.
I think we've done our fair share, to be fair.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, so during this time, we've had to take
a bit of a break from the podcast.
We've also taken a break from posting on social media because
really we've had to bring our focus to Haggis but also
running the business, Outlifting, and just servicing our current clients.
And actually during that time, we've taken on new clients as well.
So it's been full steam ahead.
But we're glad to say that we're getting back to a normal service.
Yeah.
So although the podcast and social media took a bit
of a hit, our actual business, Outlifting, did not.
Clients still got 100% service.
So hopefully you understand why we have been a bit quieter.
And yeah, welcome back to the show, basically.
Before we move on, though, we do have something else to say about Haggis.
So, Derec and I like to approach things with humour because I
think that's really the best way to get through situations like this.
Yeah. And also, if you listen to the podcast, you'll know
that we love to come up with drag names.
So we came up with a drag name for Haggis and his drag name is...
Summer Sales.
Because he's now 25% off.
I think it's quite a good one.
So yeah, Summer Sales, if you're ever over visiting Playa del Inglés, Maspalomas
area in Gran Canaria and you see us about, Haggis hopping along,
make sure you come over and say hello to Miss Summer Sales.
Yes, I think actually he's the only three-legged dog in
the area because I haven't seen any others. Have you?
No.
He's going to get so much attention, isn't he? - I know.
Oh yeah, actually, before we finish up on
this section, we've ordered him a massive, big...
like, dog stroller/pram so that we can take him out.
So, if you do see us, you won't miss us because we're
walking around with this big pram with a three-legged dog in it.
Yeah.
But of course, we live on Gran Canaria and it's
taken forever to get here, so it's still not arrived.
The joys of living on a little island off the coast of the Sahara.
Exactly.
So, now that the Haggis is much better, we have now
been able to get on with life and we are planning
a very short little break because I think we need it.
We do.
So, my dad is coming back over in September for a month, which is great.
So, lots of time for him to spend with Haggis.
Luckily, he's not staying with us because he stayed for
a week last time and that was a lot.
But he's got his own wee apartment and Haggis is going
to be staying there so that we can go to Brava Madrid,
which is basically like a Spanish version of Mighty Hoopla.
Two of the corporate sponsors for this event are Grindr and Red Bull.
I didn't realise that.
- Yes. - So, it's very gay.
Very gay.
Very Mighty Hoopla-ish, like from the videos
and the photos that we've seen.
We like the look of it.
Mm-hmm.
It's going to be a great wee weekend.
So, that's the weekend of the 18th, 19th of September.
So, tell us who's going to be headlining, Derec.
So, it is very much aimed at our generation.
They have some...
Old?
Old.
Yeah, pretty much.
So, they've got some headliners that everybody will know.
They've got Sugababes.
God knows which iteration of the Sugababes will be showing up.
That's going to be good because they've got
great songs, which is going to be brilliant.
It's just going to be three random women on stage, really.
- It could be anybody. - But so long as they're singing the Sugababes
hits that we know, we don't care. - No.
Natalie Imbruglia.
So, she's going to be singing that one-time hit, Torn.
Do you think...
Do you remember the video, the hot guy?
I wonder if she'll bring him out.
Yeah. Although that was probably 30 years ago and he's probably...
Oh, he'll be in his very daddy era now.
He's also old.
And also, the other big headliner that people might know, and this
is somebody that we saw in November here and it was amazing.
For anybody that didn't get that tune and there may
be many of you, that was the Vengaboys, apparently.
The Vengaboys. They were so good last time.
So obviously they do their five hits that they've got, I'm
saying, but then they did quite a few covers as well.
They kept going for quite a while at that pool party.
They were amazing.
Half an hour or something.
Yeah. It was good.
So they're headlining at this also.
There are other artists as well that people might not be so familiar with.
We've got Spanish artists like Leire Martínez, Soraya, and Mayo.
But the one that I am absolutely head over heels about, and part of
the reason, I think most of the reason, why we found this festival in
the first place and decided to go, is my favourite Spanish band, Fangoria.
Yes.
You have been dying to see them for years and years and years.
You've never seen them.
So, we went a bit bougie and we bought the VIP
tickets so that you could get, like, front stage access.
Because a few years ago, we went to see Adele in
Vegas and basically the front row was, like, £5,000 each.
So, we didn't get to do that, but we're going to do it here instead.
Yeah. Not quite the same, but it's going to make you
very, very, a little Irish gay boy, very, very happy.
Yeah. But also, for the others, for, like, Sugababes and Vengaboys
and stuff, it'll be cool to be up the front too.
Aye. So, I'm really looking forward to Fangoria.
If people don't know who Fangoria are,
they're just, like, a Spanish institution.
They've been going since, well, maybe, like, the 1980s,
but before that, they were in another band.
So, really, from, like, the late 1970s.
So many hits.
Massive gay icons as well.
Like, they've got songs like...
Espectacular.
Yes.
And also, iconic gay anthem before Fangoria that they had was A Quien Le Importa,
which is just such a big queer anthem in Spain.
And it has been for decades.
And if anyone watches Drag Race España, the
host Supremme De Luxe at the end of it...
You know how Ru's got her...
What's it she does again?
If you can't love yourself...
How in the hell you gonna love somebody else?
There we go. So, it's a line from that song that Derec was talking about
that the host says at the end of Drag Race España.
Yes. It's the chorus basically.
- They recite it and they all say it together. - Go on then.
¿A quién le importa lo que yo haga?
¿A quién le importa lo que yo diga?
Yo soy así, y así seguiré, nunca cambiaré.
Basically means, who cares who I am, I
am like this and I'll continue like this.
I'll never change.
Never change.
That was a butchered translation off the top of my head very quickly.
But yeah, speaking of Drag Race España, at Brava
Madrid we've also got like a massive bingo party.
A bit like, what do you call that one in the UK?
Bongo's Bingo.
They're saying that fast three times.
Bongo's Bingo, Bongo's Bingo, Bongo's Bingo.
Well done.
Yeah, it's a bit like that, but it's like the drag version.
And they've got three queens from Drag Race España.
They've got Vania Vainilla, Krystal Forever, and La Niña Delantro.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to that.
So it's on the Friday and the Saturday.
We arrive Friday afternoon and then we'll head there.
The Friday's, it's okay
the artists that are on.
But then the Saturday is the big day and that's when the bingo's on.
I can't wait to do the Drag Race Bingo.
We need to brush up on our numbers in Spanish.
Uno.
Uno, dos, tres.
That's my sound check.
Uno, dos, dos.
So, oh, the other thing as well, and this is where we need people's help.
So, if you're listening, we need your help right now because there
are themed days and, you know, we like to dress up.
Any excuse for me to get the sewing machine out and buy some fabric.
And do you know what sewing machine is in Spanish? Taka taka taka taka taka.
It's not.
That's a very accurate representation of how a Spanish person would, if
you said to them, make a sound like a sewing machine.
Taka taka taka taka.
Taka taka taka.
It's actually a Drag Race España
reference, we're not being racist.
No.
Want to say Pupi Poisson?
It was Pupi Poisson.
There we go.
Classic Drag Race España.
So yeah, they've got themed days.
So the first theme for the Friday is pink.
So you're meant to just wear head to toe pink.
Not as in like...
No, not as in the non-lesbian lesbian singer.
I was trying to think of one of her songs there.
The lesbian icon.
What's the one that we used to do in Bodypump?
I am here.
Yeah.
Not that P!nk.
So that's Friday's theme, pink.
And then the Saturday theme is navy, but not
as in the colour, but as in, hello sailor.
In the navy.
Yeah.
Ooh sailor!
So think like Jean-Paul Gaultier kind of.
Sexy model, crop top, stripey, wee jaunty sailor hat.
Slaggy.
Sexy is what we go for.
We don't go for slaggy.
Slutty sailor.
Sexy sailor.
Maybe a little bit higher fashion because it is Madrid after all.
Yeah.
Yeah. We don't want to look like the guiris from
the UK coming over to spoil their festival.
Yeah. We'll walk in like Linda La Hughes.
I'm gorgeous.
Look at me in me sailor outfit.
I'm gorgeous.
Are you Catherine Zeta Jones?
People say you look like me.
Oh God.
We digress.
Yeah, we do digress.
Hopefully people get the Gimme Gimme Gimme reference.
The reason we're telling you this is because
we want some ideas for our costumes.
Yeah.
So we need a pink theme and a navy theme.
Not as in the colour.
So the best that we've got so far, so we've started thinking about the
pink theme and we were going to do like the pink Care Bears.
Obviously like sexy Care Bears.
With little rainbows painted on our chest and maybe like a little crop
hoodie that I can make with little ears on it and stuff.
And little, cute little booty shorts.
But yeah, if anybody has a better idea, please let us know.
Yes, you can send us a DM on Insta
or email us at podcast@outlift.ing
Yes, and just before we wrap up the show, you can
also contact us if you think you need our help.
So remember, we run Outlifting, which is an online
fitness business specifically for gay, bi, and trans guys.
We offer personal training services online, nutrition blueprinting
and support, and also accountability coaching, which is
a massive part of what we do.
If you think you could benefit from our service
and you want to know more, we do offer
free, absolutely no pressure, no obligation discovery video calls.
So to book in for one of those, you can get in contact with us.
Just click the link in the show notes.
And from next week, we are back to our regular format.
So subscribe on all major podcast platforms
to keep up with the conversation.
Indeed.
But for now, over and Outlifting.